Sunday, March 14, 2010

A soul search in the mountains

Forget all the what-abouts, the medical field has left me having to be a human lab rat. Loving all animals, now I know what my four legged brother and sisters go through. Ha!
Being raised a teenager in the late 1960's and early 1970's by a totally dysfunctional step-father and mother who were either always in Europe with my step-sister or telling me to go to my room or outside, put my young mind in motion to the acceptance of always being alone, never having attention from the woman who's womb I climbed out of and building my self-confidence, standards and morals on actions I thought, at that time, to be good. At 16 years old my parents took me to court and had me emancipated because they got tired of me running away from home and not knowing how to live a family life. Sleeping in gas station bathrooms, the woods and under bridge over-passes did not assist my growth as a young woman, so yes, I grabbed a hold of what ever lifestyle and whom ever would put a roof over my head and food in my mouth and at the least, pretend they cared about me. After many surgeries which lead to a full hysterectomy, a few tasteful tattoos and walking down the same path as many of the 1969 Woodstock, NY goers, I am now nearly 53, sick with the flue nearly every day and just sitting back waiting for my next pancreas and/or gallbladder flare up which will send me to the hospital where patients with out funds are treated by students and like lab rats.
The only things I've learned to understand and forgive in my search for the "how I got HepC" answer and my this trip back in time, is forgiveness to myself for things I've done in the past that were questionable and the fact that my mother was raised in the great depression, she was left with my grandfather and her younger sister when she was ten as they carried her mother to a hospital for 25 years from hearing and seeing things.
2010 the medical field says, is still saying, you can get HepC from A,B,C, D or E. Considering I had cysts removed from my ovaries at 17 years old and the Doc could have had HepC and pricked his finger during surgery putting his infected blood in me, you-tell-me.
October 2004 is when I was tested for HepC. While dating a fellow who needed a blood transfusion after an auto accident in the 1970's and contracted HepC through the blood the hospital put through his veins, his Doctor suggested I be tested for HepC. The suggestion for testing was not advised due to the mere 2% risk of contracting HepC through sex, but from the fact that 1/3 of the world is running around with HepC and do not know it. I believe they aren't aware of it NOT because it doesn't manifest itself but because the medical field HAS NOT cautioned the public to be aware of and pay attention to the very obvious signs/illness brought out by HepC i.e. abdominal pain, fatigue, monthly and possibly daily flue like sickness' and the break down of organs located around the liver due to the liver not functioning properly from HepC, to name a few, and last but not least the mental anguish and dysfunction many of us allow ourselves to go through carrying the burden of knowing we have a virus which can be transmitted to others and knowing there is no cure, we will die from HepC destroying our other organs and/or liver.
My HepC story? The aforementioned is my HepC story.

walk in peace
brenda in the appalacia's of Virginia
tsadanadogi alisgisgi